Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
