her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize