She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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