Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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