All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize