Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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