By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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