they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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