Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
