Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
