What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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