My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
