if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
