Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
