Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
