I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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