Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
