P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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