Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
