can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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