I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
