There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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