Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
