oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
