I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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