Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize