I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
