I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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