my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
