oh god the rape fog is back!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
