Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
