You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
