I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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