pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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