The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
