She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
