Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
