The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
