I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
