I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
