You're so nebulous sometimes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
