the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
