I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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