After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
