people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
