just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
