um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
