She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
