R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
