ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
