Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.

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(905): View more from Ontario

"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"

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(309): View more from Illinois

i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.

(309): View more from Illinois

so finals studying is going well?

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(727): View more from Florida

He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.

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(217): View more from Illinois

The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..

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(404): View more from Georgia

Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT

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(734): View more from Michigan

When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.

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(713): View more from Texas

Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.

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