Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize