But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
