she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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