Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
