I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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