i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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