Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
