I wanna passion pit in your ass
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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